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Shattering The Glass; PG-13
Topic Started: Thursday Nov 24 2005, 09:31 AM (972 Views)
Fanfics Admin 01
Administrator
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Prologue



November 1999

12:37 AM

Her heart was pounding wildly in the darkness of the quiet guesthouse. The scene playing out inside her mind was taxing her respiration as well. It was the same recurring nightmare she had been having for the past few weeks. She could see the tubes that fed the deadly chemicals into the accused. The threatening execution table was occupied once again.

She watched on in horror, not sure if there was anything she could do to stop it. She wasn’t sure if she even wanted to. The last light on the vials came on, shining an eerie red. The heart monitor was slowing steadily. She raised a hand in defense and felt only the cold restraint of the glass in front of her. She wanted to speak, to say something to him. But the words never came.

Laying on the execution table he looked so fragile and defenseless. This was not the same man she had been fighting with for the last several years. He was defeated. He was dying for his crimes. She had wanted this. At some point, she had even prayed for it. But now when the cold realization was staring her in the face of him taking his last breaths, she felt so completely alone. She thought her best friend had died many years ago. Or maybe he had just been lost in the struggle of their hostile relationship.


She tried to close her eyes. She didn’t want to see him take that final breath or hear his last words. The dream would not let her have control and she was forced to watch the struggle for life in front of her. She shivered as a cold chill slipped down her spine.

Slowly he turned to face her. There was no hostility in his expression. He looked serene, as if he was recalling a memory from long ago. He simply sighed and spoke his last word.

"Sami". That old familiar smirk crept across his face and he quietly slipped away. Any resolve she had was gone. She leapt for the glass and pounded with all her might. Each time her firsts made contact she felt a little more of the anger and resentment she had been holding onto for so long drain away. She didn’t want to lose him, but it was all too late.

"No, no, noooooo!" The only response she received was the constant solid hum of the heart monitor.

He was gone.

Awakening from her nightmare, she sat up in bed and let the tears wash over her. She had held out some hope that it would have ended differently this time. But once again she had watched Lucas die.

Where was this nightmare coming from and why couldn’t she move past it? It had begun to haunt her in her waking hours as well. Is this what she wanted? If so why did it seem so painful? This was not the sweet justice her heart was seeking.





Life for Sami Brady seemed almost mundane. Maybe not by most peoples standards but definitely calm considering what she had to endure over the past few years. So much in her life had changed since Will was born. Even before then her perfect little world had begun to crumble. The little girl that was once so full of life and delusions of happiness was now a mother who had been taken to the edge and brought back to life again. She did not have those delusions of happiness anymore. She was fully aware that she would have to fight for what she wanted. She wouldn’t let anything stand in her way.

It was the goal at hand that she had questions about. A few short months ago all she wanted was justice for the pain she suffered on death row. She wanted Austin. She wanted to give Will that ideal family life she had lost. She wanted to make Kate and Lucas pay. However, her recent nightmares had begun to make her question the impact of those goals. She tried to block those resolutions from her mind. Lucas had taken away her freedom, she was sure of that. He would have to pay.

Since the helicopter crash she and Lucas had done a good job and avoiding one and another. She got to spend time with Will during the day while he was at Titan. Lucas spent the evenings with him and tucked him in at night, something Sami missed greatly. But she had made the decision to not sign the joint custody agreement and fight for full custody. To Lucas’ delight, Austin was forced to take a much smaller role in Will’s life. Kate was steering clear of Sami as well. She seemed busy running Titan in Victor’s absence. Nicole made herself scarce as often as possible. She was always out spending Lucas’ money or drowning her heartache for Eric in a bottle.

However, it was Saturday and she would not be able to avoid Lucas today if she wanted to spend time with Will. As Sami made her way up the stairs she could hear Will squealing in delight. It was a pleasant sound that gave her pause. It was the sound of his father that gave her a chill. Lucas was playing with him in Will's room. She had to force herself to take the next step. She didn't want to see Lucas. She didn't want any reminders of the terrors that were visiting her nightly.

The door was cracked open and she peered inside, careful not to disturb the occupants. Lucas was lying on his stomach on the floor. Will was tugging lightly on his shirt.

"Get up horsey! We have to get back to town. I'm Sheriff and the town needs me to keep it safe." Will instructed.

"The horsey can't take anymore, I think you might have to put me out to pastor" Lucas teased.

"Aw, come on Daddy. Just one more time around the room?"

"Neeeaaaayyy" Lucas bellowed as he rose to his knees. Will climbed on his back and the final ride around the room began. When Lucas turned he caught sight of Sami peeking through the door and stopped dead in his tracks. Will tugged on his shirt again.

"Getty up, horsey", Will pleaded.

"That's enough for now buddy." With that he calmly removed Will from his back and stood upright. Sami entered the room and bent down to Will for a hug. She could feel Lucas’ eyes on her.

"Don't let me interrupt your game", she said with a somewhat shakey voice.

Lucas looked at her puzzled and added "it's ok, the horse is pretty worn out."

He headed for the door when Will ran up and grabbed his hand.

"Don't go Daddy. You promised we could play Shutes and Ladders".

"Well if you promised him Lucas you should stay and play. I have to wait for Austin to get here anyways. We’re taking Will to the movies." She tried to calm her voice and avoided his eyes.

Lucas just let out a snort at the sound of Austin’s name and took Will’s hand in his. He didn’t want to fight with her in front his son but it was bugging him that she was being polite. That’s not a courtesy that she usually showed him. And she didn’t look like she could handle much of a fight right now Lucas noted. She had dark circles under her eyes. She had an exhausted shaken tone to her voice. He wasn’t about to ask why. He told himself he didn’t care. Lucas and Will set back down on the floor and began setting up their game.

Sami sat down on Will’s bed and watched quietly over Lucas’ shoulder. She had to remind herself not to think of the nightmares. In her exhaustion she lay back on Will’s bed and closed her eyes. She drifted off to sleep with the sound of their voices playing like an old familiar song in her mind. It was the best sleep she had in weeks.

Sami awoke several hours later. No nightmares had visited her this time. She found herself alone in Will’s room with one of his blankets draped across. Austin must have came in and saw how tired I was. He must have covered me up and took Will to the movie by himself. Her illusions of Saint Austin never failed.

When she entered the foyer she thought she heard Will’s voice coming from the kitchen.

Coming around the corner she heard Lucas giving him instructions on the perfect grilled cheese sandwich.

"Hey sleepy head, have a good nap?"

She glared at him. "Where is Austin?"

"I was going to ask you that question. What’s a matter Sami, did Prince Charming forget about your little date?"

"No, Austin wouldn’t do that. Something must have happened."

"Sure, honey whatever you need to tell yourself", he replied with a large smirk. "Well I for one am glad he didn’t show. We had a blast today didn’t we Buddy?"

Will mumbled a reply with a mouth full of cheese, but the smile that followed was unmistakable. For a second Sami imagined how Will would feel if he ever lost his father.

"Hello, earth to Sami. Are you ok? What’s going on with you today?" He looked at her intently.

She shook her head and quickly looked away. "Nothing Lucas, just leave me alone," but her words did not have their usual fire.

He simply turned away and continued his work at the stove. She sat down at the bar and talked with Will. A few minutes later, Lucas placed a sandwich in front of her, even though she hadn’t asked for it. She whispered a defeated thank you and continued her conversation with Will.

"Ok Buddy. It’s time to get ready for bed. Ross will be up in a minute to give you your bath", Lucas instructed.

"Daddy I want Mommy to do it tonight. Ross doesn’t know how to make the submarine sound."

Lucas glanced over at Sami who nodded eagerly.

"You want Mommy to read to you tonight and tuck you in too?"

Will started to jump up and down "Oh yeah!"

"You go up and get your pajamas and your Mommy will be up in a minute."

Sami turned on Lucas as soon as Will left the room. "I can’t believe you. Making your son have to ask for his mother like that. I should be with him all the time. He shouldn’t have to ask to spend time with his mother. You jerk, when are you gonna realize that he belongs with me?"

"Well finally, there you are. Where you been hiding at Sami? I thought we had an invasion of the body snatchers or something."

"What are you talking about Lucas?"

"You. Acting like you are the walking dead. Being polite. And that is the first time you have looked me in the eye all day. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Before she could answer him they we’re interrupted by Henderson.

"Miss Brady, you have a telephone call".

"Austin", Sami exclaimed and bolted from the kitchen towards the study. Lucas simply rolled his eyes. However, curiosity overtook him. He crept quietly into the hall outside the study. He couldn’t wait to hear Wonderboys excuse.

"Austin I was so worried about you. Is everything ok? …….. With Carrie?……..But I thought she was going to sign the divorce papers?…….Fainted? Oh, come on Austin. Please tell me you didn’t’ fall for that?………. Yes, I think Will was terribly disappointed. He had to spend the evening with Lucas. But Austin ….but ….. ok fine we’ll talk about it when you get home. Ok, Bye"

Sami slammed the receiver down. "Damn you Carrie!"

Lucas didn’t mean for his laughter to be so loud. She yanked open the study door prepared to tear into him like a caged animal. His continued laughter only fueled her fire.

"That’s it Lucas you are gonna get it know. I am gonna kill you!"

She was suddenly startled by her own words. A picture of his lifeless body lying on the execution table flashed in her mind and she froze. All the color drained from her face along with her anger. She could almost hear the hum of the monitors again.

He only made matters worse. Seeing her standing there so obviously shaken he spoke softly "Sami?"

That was more than she could take.

"Will is waiting for me", she quietly stated and sprinted for the stairs.

Lucas just stood there bewildered. The only thing more shocking to him then her reaction was his own. He found himself in disbelief of what he was feeling. He was frightened for her. Concern for Sami Brady was something he had never been able to escape. She always found a way back into his heart no matter how much he tried to fight it.




Chapter 2

A few nights later….

She lay alone in the darkened night. Sleep had fallen upon her, however there was nothing restful about it. The dream that had been haunting her for weeks entered her subconscious again. The scenario was the same. Standing behind the solid glass pane she watched him dying. The resolve she had held onto repeatedly was weakening. She wanted to fight. She wanted to fight for him. For him? How was that even possible? Why did she feel so compelled to end his punishment? In fact, she was starting to fight even sooner than before. She searched the viewing room for an answer. Behind her stood a metal chair. With all her might, she raised the chair above her head. Poised to shatter that thing which prevented her from reaching his side. She began to swing it with her hopeless cry.

"Noooooo!"

She was awoken from her struggle by a crashing sound. Setting up in bed, she found her pillow gripped tightly in her hands, raised above her head. She was breathless and tears had overcome her. Why do I keep having this nightmare? Why won’t it leave me? Why do I even care if he lives or dies? It’s what he deserves. Isn’t it?

She rose from her bed in an attempt to reach the bathroom and wash her face. When her foot hit the floor she discovered the evidence of the crashing sound. Scattered on the bedroom floor was the remnants of the lamp that once set on the nightstand. She must have broken it in her struggle. The shard of porcelain stabbed the bottom of her foot.

"Ooww," she cried out in pain and began limping to the nearest light switch.

She had expected to find Austin rushing to her side. Soon she discovered she was alone in the guesthouse. His bed had not been slept in. Sami had turned in early in hopes of ending her drought of rest. She assumed he had just come in late. It was now after 1 and he hadn’t come home at all.

She slowly made her way to the bathroom to remove the porcelain shard. She swung her head around at the sound of the front door opening. Austin finally, just when I need him most. But Austin was not standing in the living room with a puzzled look on his face.

"Sami, what the hell happened?"

"Lucas? What are you doing barging into my house? Who do you think you are?" Her disappointment in her intruder was easily registered.

"I was walking out by the pool and I heard you scream and then I heard a crash. I figured you were just off on one of your little tirades and then I heard you cry out like you were in pain or something. What the hell is going on in here? Did Austin turn you down again?"

"Shut up Lucas. Austin isn’t even here. Ooww!" She made the mistake of trying to take another step, momentarily forgetting her wound.

"Why are you limping then?" Lucas questioned.

"I knocked the lamp off my nightstand and stepped on a piece of it you idiot."

"I’m an idiot? I’m not the one bleeding am I?" That’s when he noticed she had been crying. He approached her slowly with the fight gone out of him. Grabbing her by the arm he led her to the couch. She looked at him as if he had grown a second head but accepted his help nonetheless. When his warm hand touched her arm she became painfully aware that she was wearing only a thin, short chemise gown.

"Set down and I’ll be right back," he commanded. She obeyed his request.

Seconds later he returned with supplies from the bathroom. He sat down on the ottoman and lifted her left foot. She looked at him reluctantly but did not resist.

"Ooww," she cried as he removed the shard. He placed his hand on her leg to hold her still and she stiffened at his touch.

"Don’t be such a baby. I’m almost done." He placed a few drops of iodine on the wound.

"Oh god, that stings!"

Without saying a word he lifted her petite foot just inches from his lips. The short gown slid farther up her thigh. He took a deep breath and slowly blew the air out onto her cut. The air traveled past her foot and up the length of her leg.

Sami was not prepared for the wave of sensations the soft breeze had created with in her. Her inner thighs were immediately sensitive to every breath of air. Tingling widely and begging for more she rested back on her hands and slightly arched her back. Soon she let her head fall back as well.

Lucas did not let her relaxing manner go unnoticed. He let his eyes travel the path the blown air had taken up her leg and towards her inner thigh. His gaze settled there momentarily, noting the silky glow to her skin. Then he looked up to see her nipples protruding through the thin satin material of her gown. He could not control himself any longer. He set her foot down on the ottoman between his legs. His hands never let go. Instead they traveled up her leg slowly caressing her every inch they came in contact with. Standing to straddle her, he stopped just above the knee and lifted his left hand to her chest. With a gentle touch he caressed her breast, enjoying the feel of the satin covered nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

Sami could not stop the deep moan from passing her lips. It was enough to bring them both out of their trans-like state. Sami quickly raised her head and stared at him, her eyes as wide as golf balls. He quickly jerked his hands back as if they were being burned. They stared at one another for a second completely bewildered. Sami could feel the red hot flush to her cheeks. Lucas suddenly turned his back to her, fearing a battle. The shock came first then a wave of sometimes forgotten memories of their one night together. The flashes were all too real for Lucas. He did the only thing he could think to do. He made a break for the guesthouse door. She did not try to stop him. She was thankful for his quick exit.

Lucas stopped briefly by the pool. Wishing for the cold water to rush over him and release him from this desire for the one thing that he could never have. Or could he?

He wished he could find his wife. Maybe she could help him forget what had just happened. But then maybe that was part of the problem. Nicole spent most of her time chasing after Eric. Lucas had tried to ignore it. The drinking was something that bothered him even more. They had begun sleeping in separate rooms. On more than one occasion she had tried to get him to drink with her. He felt it would be easier to resist if he put some distance between them. She did not argue. In fact, she seemed happy about the arrangement. What kind of marriage is that? It was becoming increasingly clear that no matter what he did for her, she was never going to love him. At the moment, he didn’t really care.






Chapter 3

The next morning Sami climbed from her bed and limped to the shower. What little sleep she had gotten that night could not have been considered rest. The hot water and steamy air encircled her damp body lulling her into a dreamy state. She thought of Austin and why he hadn’t come home that night. She wanted to be angry with him, but for some reason she could never find a way to express it. When she was with him she felt as if she could be that special young lady she always thought her Dad had seen. She thought that Austin saw something significant in her as well, but he never told her. Instead, he would say she had the potential to be a good person. She knew that someday she would live up to Austin’s expectations and make him love her.

She turned the faucet slightly to increase the water temperature using the heat to revive her body and clear her mind. She wanted those feelings that had been haunting her the past few hours to go away. Every time she closed her eyes she could feel his hands on her body. Lucas was invading her waking hours now in ways the nightmare never could. She remembered the events of the previous night and shivered from head to toe. How far would she have gone? Would she have stopped him from enveloping her mind and body? Why was she so turned on by such a simple jester? She was convinced that it wasn’t Lucas who had turned her on but the longing for physical contact. She had not been with a man since Franco. Austin was still struggling with his decision to divorce Carrie so approaching him for any sexual favors was out of the question, as if it was even an option. What Sami needed was some kind of release from her current reality. She needed to escape these nightmares and Lucas. But she couldn’t do that until she had Will all to herself.


Since she was alone in the guesthouse she decided to have breakfast in the mansion with Will. To her great displeasure most of the household was there as well. She quickly bypassed the rest of the room and took a seat beside Will. Lucas kept his head hid behind a morning paper and refused to make eye contact with her. He only spoke when spoken too and never looked up. Will took the opportunity to chit chat with his mother.

"Mommy guess what?" He beamed as Sami looked at him curiously. "I’m gonna get shot!"

Sami was shocked and puzzled at his words, but reminded herself of a child’s imagination.

"Will, honey what are you talking about?"

"Daddy says I gotta go to the hospital and get shot. He says he’s gonna get one too, to show me how a big boy does it." Will seemed reluctant but happy to be included in that category.

Sami was instantly furious. "Just exactly when were you planning on telling me about this Lucas?" Her eyes shot daggers across the table.

Lucas slowly lowered his paper prepared to do battle. It was the first time he had layed eyes on her that morning. While her eyes blazed an icy blue fire her complextion was paler than usual. She had dark circles under her eyes and weariness in her tone. He wanted to lash back, but her appearance gave way to the compassion he had tried to deny for so long. He took a heavy sigh and tried to explain.

"It’s just a new influenza vaccine that my Grandma Alice recommended he have. You know how she stays up to date on everything in the pediatrics department. I didn’t think that you would have any objections."

"No Lucas, you just didn’t think. It’s not that I have any objections to the vaccination, but I think I need to be with him. Obviously he must be nervous about it, if you are going to get it too."

"Okay, its tomorrow at 2 o’clock," stating calmly he raised his paper once again.

Sami was amiss at his lack of fight. He never passed up an opportunity to exclude her from spending time with her son. Why was he being so passive?

The rest of breakfast was eaten in silence. Kate and Billie were exchanging glares across the table though Sami wasn’t sure she thought is might have something to do with Nicholas Alamain. Just as Kate was about to make her exit, Austin came storming in through the hallway door.

"Austin where have you been? Why didn’t you come home last night?" Sami rose from the table and headed in his direction. Austin just smiled at her.

Lucas watched in amazement. He didn’t think he had ever heard Sami raise her voice to Austin. And his smile in return was obviously driving Sami to the breaking point.

"Give me just a minute Sami and you will understand everything. I am sorry that I made you worry though. But everything is going to be fine."

Sami dropped her head trying to get a hold of her anger. She was ashamed to admit to herself that she wasn’t really all that worried about Austin. She was concerned about who he might have been with, but his safety hadn’t really crossed her mind.

Austin turned away from her and addressed the room. "I have an announcement to make everyone."

Sami let her heart leap a little. She thought maybe all of her dreams were coming true. Carrie had signed the divorce papers and now Austin was going to propose to her right there in front of everyone. She could just picture the shock and horror on Kate’s smug face.

"Carrie and I are going to have a baby. She is pregnant." Austin announced publicly, not having the forethought to speak to Sami in private first.

She was instantly broken. Kate and Billie rose to congratulate Austin. Sami slipped into the background while the two of them hovered over Austin and playfully giggled with Will. She then felt a presence behind her and his breathe on her ear. She froze and held her breath, still fighting the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Come on Sami, let him have it just once," Lucas whispered menacingly. "Let him know how you really feel. Give him one of those little fits you usually save for me. I know you are dying to tell him that baby probably isn’t even his."

His hot breath danced across her earlobe, her heartbeat racing. She was furious, but not with Lucas. She wanted to strangle Austin. What? How could that be? Sami couldn’t fight the tears anymore. She let out the breath she had been holding and let them fall. Lucas saw his opportunity to pounce.

"Now wouldn’t that be a switch. You’re used to convincing Austin that he is a father. Now you have to make him see that he isn’t." He shifted his position and leaned in closer, softly brushing her back.

"But in the back of your mind you gotta know that any chance you had with him is gone. He will stick by Carrie now no matter what. That’s just what my perfect brother does, comes to the aid of lonely pregnant women. Only this time it isn’t you, is it Sami?"

He walked away having inflicted all the damage he could do, only he didn’t feel like celebrating. He just wanted to open her eyes before things went any further. Austin was an obsession that Sami was going to have to leave behind.



Chapter 4



"Sami you have to talk to me about this eventually. I know you are upset, but the most important thing right now is making sure that Carrie and the baby are healthy and well taken care of. " Austin instructed in a manner that reminded her of a teacher talking down to a delinquent pupil.

Sami was standing with her back to him, arms crossed with her right foot thumping loudly on the flooring. He had followed her to the guesthouse after receiving sticky sweet congrats from Kate and Billie. She had long since dried her tears and was losing the battle to keep her anger bottled. She wanted to ask him if he was a complete idiot and point out how gullible he was. Unfortunately, those were traits she had once used to her own advantage. The thing that was really getting her goat was Lucas’ words in the mansion earlier. She refused to admit to herself that he was right, but she had never been this angry with Austin before. Shocked at her own feelings and confused by the turn of events she finally lost her resolve.

"Yeah, of course Carrie is the most important thing, she always is." Her blood pressure was rising with each word he spoke.

"Now Sami, I want you to promise me that you won’t go anywhere near Carrie. She is in a very fragile…," she broke in before the schoolmaster could complete her assignment.

"Exactly what do you mean by that? Do you think that I am going to do something to cause Carrie to lose the baby? How stupid do you think I am? If anything should happen to that baby and I was anywhere near a 12 state radius of Carrie she would blame me for it anyways. Didn’t you get the newsletter Austin? I am the official Brady family scapegoat." She couldn’t believe the words and tone that was coming out of her own mouth. She had never spoken to Austin like this before. There was no way she could stop herself and at the moment, she didn’t want to. Holding back was not her style and Austin had always been the exception.

"Sami just calm down and listen to me for a minute."

She knew the speech that was about to follow and she wasn’t about to sit threw it again.

"No, Austin! You listen to me. You can take your self-righteous speech and shove it where the sun don’t shine! I don’t need one of lectures right now telling me how to act. I am sick of everyone treating me like crap and then getting a stern talking to every time I point out anybody else’s misdeeds. Carrie cheated on you with Mike and that baby is probably his. She doesn’t know where he is or if he is coming back and she if latching onto you so she doesn’t have to do this on her own." By now, she was shaking uncontrollably.

She should have felt regret for speaking to him like this but instead she was completely empowered. It was like truly spreading your wings and leaving the nest for the first time. She was free of the shadow of doubts about herself that always followed her when she was near Austin. She was standing there facing him without any apologies for who she was. If he were ever going to love her, he would have to accept her heart and soul. If he couldn’t do that then she didn’t want him.

That realization hit hear like a splash of cold water. He did not love her, not the real Sami Brady. She was not about to change who she was for someone who was so eager to point out her faults.

"Austin," she started, her voice shockingly calm. "I think it would be best if you left. We have a lot of things we need to work out and I am too shaken up right now to discuss this reasonably. We need time to calm down and then we can try to work this out."

Austin just stood there with that dumb expression that reminded her of a drunken street bum, waiting for the sky to fall. He was completely shocked by her stance. He quietly went to his room, packed a bag and headed out the front door. When he opened it he was surprised to find his younger brother lurking just outside.

Lucas looked a little embarrassed for being caught ease dropping but made no apologies. Austin glared at him for a second and continued on his way.

"Lucas, the key to being a good snoop is never getting caught. You never did figure out how to be subtle" Sami pointed out.

He looked at her as if she had painted her face bright blue, shocking but almost laughable. He still did not believe the words he had overheard, but a small part of him was proud of her. He knew that she had a breaking point even when it came to his saintly brother. He didn’t know what to say, but feared she would soon be regretting her decision. To assuage her remorse, he decided to offer her a buffer.

"Umm, listen Will is really kinda nervous about getting that shot tomorrow and I have some work I need to complete tonight. I thought maybe he could spend the rest of the day with you and stay here tonight. A change of pace might help him keep his mind off of it." He held his breath and waited for her to attack.

She looked up at him slowly with a warmth he hadn’t seen in many years.

"Sure, I’ll be right over to get him." She knew exactly what Lucas was doing. Why was it that her sworn enemy and one time best friend always knew exactly what she needed.

He gave her a weak smile and turned to head back out the door.

"Lucas?" she started weakly.

"Yeah."

"Thank you." With that she softly closed the door behind him.

He stood there listening for a moment, waiting for the flood of tears for her beloved Austin that he was so sure would follow. He never heard a sound. The seventeen year-old girls obsession was gone. There was a strong willed woman waiting inside. He couldn’t understand his desire at that moment to break down that door and hold her in his arms, willing away all her doubts about herself and reassuring her of how lovable she was.
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