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The Fragile; PG-13, Complete
Topic Started: Wednesday Feb 15 2006, 01:49 AM (872 Views)
Fanfics Admin 01
Administrator
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I'm not doing this because I'm mad. I'm not angry with anyone but myself - I'm to blame. I did this to me; I'm the one whose screwed up. Everyone I love, I hurt. I've wrecked Austin 's life, Carrie's, Eric's(I'm so sorry Eric, I'm so sorry everyone), Lucas's, and worst of all Will's. I love you Will, please
believe that if nothing else. Mommy just can't go on anymore. I can't fight anymore, because Austin was right, you are better off without me. Everyone is better off. And I'm tired of hurting and I'm tired of fighting only to hurt everyone I love. Daddy, Mom, I love you, please forgive me. It's not your fault, it's no ones. It just hurts too much.

Sami let her pen fall, calmly folded the letter and placed it in its envelope addressing it to Eric and leaving the car. As if in a trance she walked down to the pier, gun in hand, her expression blank, her eyes red rimmed. For the first time in her life, she was at peace. She'd never have to cry again. Soon the hole in her heart would stop aching, the feeling that a piece of her of body was gone would end.

This was the right thing to do. Austin made her see that. He said that Will was better off with Lucas, that Lucas and Kate and Carrie were right all along, she was nothing but a lying manipulative bitch who only cared about herself. If only it was true, that the only one she cared for was herself, then she'd just take Will and run. But hearing Austin call her all those things, seeing the look of disgust on his face when he learned of her deal with Nicole…it was too much. And then when he testified in court practically gift wrapping the custody hearing for Lucas, it broke her. Austin always forgave her before, why couldn't he now? Why couldn't he understand that she couldn't just let Lucas take Will away from her? Maybe she was wrong about him, about both of them all this time. Stopping at the end of the pier, Sami looked out over the black water, letting the night and the wind take her thoughts. Placing the gun to her head, she thought about what had happened, how losing both Austin and Will, hearing the judge tear into her, made her question herself. Even Brandon 's support could not shake the doubts that had sprung into her mind. Maybe Austin was right and Lucas hadn't killed Franco. Maybe Brandon was right and her love for Austin was simply an obsession. Had she chosen Austin over Will, when she kept the truth about Will's paternity from everyone? At the time, she thought she was protecting Will, that Austin was the better father. Lucas only wanted Carrie then and she was so close to having Austin . It had been too easy to lie to herself. And then when Lucas turned to drinking…well it was as if he were making her lies true. But now, she had to re-think everything. Austin was right; she didn't deserve love. "I'm sorry," she whispered to herself and started to gently squeeze the trigger.

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head. Her last thought as darkness swallowed her was that she hadn't even heard the gun go off.

Horrified, Lucas looked down at Sami's crumpled body, picked up the gun and threw it into the water. He checked for a pulse, for a moment afraid that he had been too late, that the gun had actually gone off, but no her pulse was steady. Sighing in relief, he cradled her against his chest, rocking her back and forth as if she were child, whispering to her how sorry he was, how no one was ever going to hurt her again. No one.








Cradled under mounds of down quilts, her golden hair fanned in a halo around her face, Sami had never looked more innocent or vulnerable in her life to Lucas. He hated it. He hated her too pale skin and he especially hated the nasty bruise on the side of her face. She should be awake by now, her face red with anger and just suppressed violence. The air should be thick with her curses, not deadly
silent. Sitting at the edge of the bed, Lucas once again reached for the phone, debating if he should call Marlena. Perhaps, he had hit her too hard. Tentatively, he changed the direction of his reaching hand to lightly trace the outline of the tender wound. Damn, she had scared him though; at the time, knocking her out was the only thing he could think of to keep her from pulling the trigger.

Instinctively, he knew he would have been too late if he'd have simply called out; even in her best mood, she didn't listen to him. And he had never seen her like that. Even now, he shivered at the thought of her blank expression and at the fact that she still had yet to wake. He had to call; he really had no choice. Once again, the phone was in his hands until Sami's moan stopped his dialing fingers. "nngh…," her eyes started to flicker, squinting in disbelief as she focused on Lucas's concerned face, " I just knew it. I'm in hell, aren't I?"

Lucas laughed. This was more like it. "No Sami, you're very much alive. And as for being in hell? Well, I think that honor is mine, since I'll be taking care of your sorry ass indefinitely."

"Have you been drinking again, because your not making sense. No one is taking care of me, but me. And where am I anyway? What the hell happened? Why does my head feel like a construction site?" Sami thrust her chin forward throwing Lucas her most haughty, demanding glare. It made for a comical contrast, what with the piles of patch work quilting she was under and the rather sparse and rustic décor of the room. In fact, it looked almost as if she were scowling at the deer mount behind him rather than at Lucas himself. He couldn't help it, she looked so funny and he was so relieved that he just started to laugh hysterically. Sami was dumbstruck. He was mad. There was no other explanation. She was stuck in some god forsaken cabin with a mad man. If she hadn't wanted to kill herself, she'd be afraid for her life; now though killing herself didn't seem like such a good idea. No, she couldn't leave her son in the care of a crazy person. No, she couldn't kill herself now, that was obvious. Although, killing him might not be such a bad idea.

"What is your damage? Lucas I demand to know what's going on here!" Sami tried to pull herself out of the bed, only to fall back unsteadily. Immediately, Lucas quit laughing and rushed to her aid.
"Sami, lie still! Your in no condition to be moving around!"

"Why should I listen to you?"

"Because you don't have a choice, I'm not going to let you hurt yourself Sami!" Lucas grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back down against the pillows, holding her eyes with his as he pulled the covers back over her shivering form. Sami had never seen him that intense. She turned her face away from his burning gaze.

"I…I don't know what your talking about. Your obviously unbalanced. I'm sure the courts will grant me custody when they find out how you kidnapped me and… and hit me!" Sami reached up to her bruised face, outraged realization dawning upon her, "You hit me, you bastard!"

What a witch! Only Sami would try and use her own suicide attempt to get back at him! Lucas reached into his back pocket pulling out an envelope, holding it in front of Sami's face. His voice filled with false sweetness, Lucas questioned her.

"Does this look familiar Sami? Hmmm? I found it in your car, addressed to Eric. Well, of course I read it."

"You bastard! You had no right! Give that back right now!" Sami started to cry, the thought of Lucas seeing her so weak shaming her.

"What, I had no right…Stopping You From Blowing Your Head Off? I saved your Life Sami, Again! And no court in the world would give you custody of Will after reading this!"

"Shut up, Lucas. Just Shut up! You had no right it was my decision, mine!" Sami was weeping in earnest now, her face in her hands, heaving sobs wracking her body. "I hate you," she whimpered.

"And I hate you," Lucas replied tenderly, "But Will loves you and that's what gives me the right. Do you know he cries for you every night. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Sami looked up at Lucas, her expression a mask of pain, "I feel so empty without him."

"I know, that's the way I felt every time Will called Austin Daddy. He needs me Sami, his real Daddy; but he needs his Mommy too. And that's why I'm giving you joint custody."

At her disbelieving hopeful face, Lucas amended, "With a few conditions."







Nervous, wondering what her reaction would be to what he had to say, Lucas stood up and started to pace.

"First off, the house I built-- it's huge. I want you to live with me and Will," he ran his fingers through his dark hair, paused his motions, and glanced apprehensively her way. Getting no immediate response, he forged ahead. "Second, you need counseling Sami. This last stunt of yours, is beyond deranged. And don't even think about Brandon , that guy is bad news. All he wants is to get into your pants. And not with your mother either, she's half your problem. I mean what kind of psychiatrist is she? After everything you've been through, from Stefano to Allen to your fatal attraction to Austin , you'd think she would of got you some help. You were a bulimic for Kripes sake! You were raped! And
that's not even a fraction of what you've had to deal with! If you want I'll check into it and set you up with somebody decent, but your going to go. And most importantly, there's going to be no more secrets and no more schemes between us. Got it Sami? Because if you betray me again, I'll make sure
that you never and I mean never see me or Will again! We use to be friends Sami, I want that back. Call me crazy, but I miss my friend."

Throughout his tirade, Sami became quieter and quieter. Outwardly, she appeared to be the epitome of a calm and attentive listener. Inside, however, she was reeling. How dare he presume to dictate her life? How dare he trash her mother and Brandon, especially with a manipulative tramp like Kate for a mother and a two timing gold-digger of an ex like Nicole? Her anger became cold and sharp, and instead of lashing out at him with the usual insults; she countered with her trump card.

"Fine, I'll agree to your terms," she stated calmly waiting for his shock to turn into a smile; then she continued, "but first you have to answer a question and depending on your answer, I have a few conditions of my own."

He nodded his head for her to continue, "Ok".

"Remember, you said no more secrets, no more schemes."

"I said Ok, ask me already."

"Did you shoot Franco?"

Lucas looked away. He didn't want to tell her the truth, because if he did she could and most likely would ruin his life. But more importantly, he didn't want to lose her. Lucas took a deep breath gathering his courage.

"Sami, I was walking to the pub to meet Maggie when I saw you on the docks. At first, I was going to torment you, you know rub it in that I'd won custody. I was still pretty angry with you for everything you pulled with Nicole, but when I called and you didn't answer, well…"
"That's all very nice, Lucas, but what does that have to do with Franco?"

"Just wait, I'm getting to it. I need to explain something's first. I want you to understand. Anyway, I thought you wanted to know how you got here."

"Alright. I'm sorry, go ahead."

"Like I was saying, you were acting strange," Lucas noticed how Sami fidgeted in bed; she was really uncomfortable hearing about her suicide attempt so he glossed it over, "and then I saw the gun and I just reacted. I had to stop you. In that instant, all I could see was the mother of my child, my former partner in crime, my best friend, and my worst adversary gone. I felt…sick. Even as messed up as we are, I couldn't imagine my life without you Sami. So I just panicked and clocked you across the side of the head. I carried you to your car and drove to this cabin. I probably should of taken you to the hospital, but I wasn't really thinking. I just wanted you safe...with me. Can you understand that?"

Sami nodded her head, "Go on."

"I panicked the day Franco died as well." He held her eyes telling her without saying a word: I shot Franco, it was me-I'm so sorry.







Sami felt the rage inside of her flood. All this time she had been right. All the self doubts, all the accusations flung her way, now she could finally put it behind her. Nobody knew how that day had haunted her; they thought her nightmare had ended with the acquittal. But, she knew Roberto's confession had been a lie, how could she feel absolved by a lie? And so, her sleepless nights had continued. As much as she hated to admit it, a small part of her still loved Franco, even after his infidelity. His death mocked her, as did the trial and the man standing before her. And while Lucas hadn't said the words, for once she was sure, deep down in her bones. Lucas had pulled the trigger.

She knew she should wait and hear him say it, along with his worthless excuses, but she couldn't contain her fury. It consumed her, as her fingers twisted the sheets, as her voice shook with anger. "You did it didn't you? You killed Franco and you set me up, you miserable coward! You let me rot on death row for a crime you committed and then you used it to take my son away from me! How do you live with yourself, Lucas? Hmm? Tell me. When your pushing Will on the swings, pretending to be such a loving father, are you ever afraid that the blood on your hands will show? I almost died Lucas! Hell, I did die because of you and your lies! And now you say you want to be friends? Nothing I ever did to you, nothing compares to this."
"Sami, as soon as I heard about the execution, I rushed to stop it! I never thought it would go that far! You have to believe me, please!"

"How far would you have liked it to go Lucas? Life in prison? It's still murder anyway you cut it. Every day I spent in prison, was a day you robbed from me. And to think for a time, I actually thought that I had done it! God! And when the records for the strip club turned out to be inconclusive, that Roberto still had time to commit the murder. I doubted myself, that maybe I'd been wrong about you all these years. To think, I was going to let you raise my son."

"Sami just stop, let me explain-"

"--Say it!"

"What?"

Moving on pure adrenaline, Sami lifted herself out of the bed, getting into Lucas's face. She was sweating from the effort. The white cotton nightgown Lucas had put on her clung to her body like a second skin. Her damp hair was plastered to her brow. Her clear blue eyes shown dark and deep and dangerous. It was as if she was possessed, as if she were on fire.

"Sami, I know your angry but you need to get back into bed. Your going to make your self sick. We can talk about this later, when you've calmed down."

"No, we're going to talk about this now! This isn't over until I hear the words from your lying mouth, you spineless, gutless boy! For once in your life, be a man and admit what you did!" It was if she had chased the air out of the room for suddenly there was only enough space for the two of them, nothing else existed or mattered. Lucas hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until he spoke.

"I k-killed Franco. It was in self-defense, I swear. He was going to kill Mom. He had a poker and he was going to hit her, so I shot him. It was awful, it was like a scene from a movie. I watched myself do it, and Mom screamed, and Franco just lay there. He wasn't moving and the blood-I was so scared Sami. So, I took Will and ran and Mom covered for me. She put the gun in your hand… you know the
rest."

Lucas never saw it coming, the crack of Sami's open hand against his cheek forced his head back and left a fierce red mark in its wake. The second time, he saw it but he didn't even try and stop her blow. He deserved whatever she dished out. He stood immobile as she lashed out yet again. The third time, he caught her arm sensing the wildness in her would not abate. The air around them crackled as he turned her palm over and lowered his head, his eyes never leaving hers, until his lips were mere inches from her bruising hand. Gently, he blew cool air at her stinging palm. "Don't your hurting yourself," he whispered tenderly.







With his simple gesture, Sami could feel her anger ebb from her body. Her knees buckled and she found herself supported by his capable embrace. Lucas lifted her into his arms, off the ground, and into the bed. Since she was too exhausted to really think, for once in her life she was simply seeing him as a man. He was a rather handsome, but worried looking man. She liked the way his brow furrowed in concern. And his chiseled face was nice too. But, his dark hair framed his best feature perfectly, his eyes. She found his brown eyes so compelling with their warmth and light, and their hidden wisdom won by a man who knows what it is to lose. This man, who moments ago she wanted to annihilate, looked so tired and worn and caring; all she wanted to do was reach up and place her hands on his face in comfort. Instead he placed his hand on her forehead.

"You're burning up."

"I just got over the flu. I guess in all the excitement, it decided a sequel was in order." Sami threw him a weak smile, while he scrunched his face, troubled.

"Hold on, I'll get you some Tylenol or something. Do you want some water or juice?"

"Water."

He was a flurry of activity. Sami could hear him from the bedroom-- the dishes clanking, the cupboards thunking, the faucet running-all to the tune of a steady stream of barely intelligible curses and grunts. He returned handing her the water and some pills which she took gratefully. He gave her a quick, reassuring smile and returned to the kitchen while she closed her eyes and did her best not to think. Soon, she felt something cool against her feverish skin. Opening her eyes, she saw Lucas sitting next to bed with a bucket of ice water and some cloths.

"We have to bring your fever down." She nodded her head in permission and waited for him to speak. It was strange. She really felt no more animosity towards him. Just relief that finally she knew what had happened.

"So what are your conditions?" Ringing out another cloth, he kept his face averted, placing the compress just above her chest where the v-neck on her nightgown ended.

"What?"

"You said, that depending on my answer, you had a few conditions of your own."

"Oh. Well…I guess, you confess, go to jail, and give me full custody of Will."He stared at her in shock. She stared back. And then at the same time, they both burst out laughing. Sami was doubled over it was so funny. Lucas had tears in his eyes and found it difficult to breathe, he was laughing so hard. Finally, Sami managed to gasp,"Stop, stop. My poor head." Their mirth dwindled to smiles.

"Obviously, we both know that I am not going to confess. In fact, I'm never going to admit to what I did again. The subject is closed as far as I'm concerned. Victor and Kate destroyed whatever evidence remained and I'm fine with that. I feel horrible about what I did. But Sami, we both know my going to jail won't solve anything. I can't take care of Will from jail, and I can't make amends to you."

"You want to make amends?"

"Yes, I'm serious Sami. I've been a jackass. Your right, I've been behaving like a spoiled little boy letting my mother lead me around by the nose. Not too long ago, you asked your family to give you another chance. You said you've changed. Well, I've changed too Sami. I'm not drinking, I'm never drinking again. I have my priorities straight for once in my life, Will. Can you give me a chance Sami to prove it?"

"Lucas changing isn't that easy. Look at me, look at what I did to you. I destroyed your marriage with Nicole and I tried to turn you into a drunk."

"We've hurt each other a lot haven't we?"

"Yes, we have. But I'll forgive you, if you forgive me. I'm willing to try."

Lucas never heard more beautiful words in his life. His vendetta with Sami was over, unless of course this was just another ploy to win his trust, he mused silently. But no, after all this time, he knew when Sami was lying and when she wasn't. His face broke into an angelic smile.

"You won't regret this Sami, I swear."

"I know I won't, but there is still a matter of conditions to discuss. The real conditions this time…"

Man, Lucas could tell he was in for it now.









"First off, I don't want anyone to know what I tried to do. I just went a little crazy for a bit, and I don't want their false pity, and I don't want anyone to be able to use it against me-"

"Anyone, as in me? Because I thought we were past that-"

"Anyone as in Kate or Victor or even Nicole. I just don't want the whole world to know, Ok? I won't try it again if your worried about that."

"Well as long as you go to counseling…"

"That brings me to my second point, you're coming with me."

"What!! I don't need a shrink. I'm perfectly sane!" Sami glared at him while Lucas fumbled on trying to spit the taste of odor eaters out of his mouth.

"Not to say that you're not sane, but I know how to deal. Not to say that you don't, what I mean is-"

"Forget it, Lucas. You're coming with me or the deals off! You've been through just as much as me. What with a mother like Kate, it's a wonder your not a serial killer. Face it Lucas, she paid Nicole to marry you! She's favored Austin and Billy since the moment she found out that they were her children.
And she kept the truth about your own father from you. You have issues, and the sooner you face it the better."

"Fine. I'll go already. Happy now?"

"Not quite. Kate is a witch, I don't trust her and I don't want her anywhere near Will."

"She's my mother, for God's sakes, I can't just cut her out of my life."

"Wake up Lucas! She's a bitch!"

"So are you and it doesn't bother me." Lucas shrugged his shoulders, feigning indifference. He knew he shouldn't goat Sami like this, seeing how sick she was, but the girl deserved it. Sami's mouth moved silently, struggling to find the words to destroy him. She was livid. Before she could tear into him Lucas interjected a peace offering,

"I'll watch her Sami. I'll make sure she doesn't do anything to harm Will or you. I'll make sure she understands that, and if she still tries something… she's out."

"I suppose," Sami grumbled. My last condition-"

"There's more???"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" she asked sarcastically.
"No, of course not. Your wish is my command. Please continue, I await in breathless anticipation to do your every bidding. My only desire is to serve you, if only I were not such an unworthy wretch-"

"Shut-up, already." Sami threw a pillow at his head. Lucas bowed low in mock subservience. "As my lady requests, so shall it be."

Pursing her lips and crossing her arms, she continued. "When we move in together, my life is my own. I will see who I want to see when I want to. If my brother Eric shows up, I want you to be nice. If I decided to go on a date with Brandon, I go with no lip from you. Your not my keeper Lucas, for this to work you have to realize that. Do we have a deal?" Sami raised her hand out for him to shake.

Really it was a small price to pay to have Sami with him. So what if Eric shows up, he'll just leave. And Brandon? Who was she kidding. Oh Sami, by the time I get through with you, Brandon will be the last thing on your mind. Lucas met her offering with a knowing smile, "Deal".


The End
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